Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
