I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
