if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
