Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
