No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize