there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize