worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Randomize