hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
