just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
