that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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