i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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