I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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