best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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