Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
