His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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