Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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