i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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