For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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