My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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