Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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