I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
