I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
