I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My bed smells like the plague
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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