dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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