i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize