If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
