some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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