booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
