Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
