I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize