Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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