Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
