she smelled like a LAN party
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
