Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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