I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
