I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
