fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
