I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
