direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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