when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
