Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
