you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
