I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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