literally had 100 drinks last night.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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