I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Come on in and take your pants off
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