everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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