He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Pants are for mortals
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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