don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
