Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
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Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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