Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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