Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize