I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
