spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
