So drunk its hurt
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
