Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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