i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
