Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
being pregnant is like rehab
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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