I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
