just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
